Astronomers discover most Earth-like planet yet

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Astronomers discover most Earth-like planet yet

Postby Diagoras » Mon Nov 12, 2007 7:26 pm

Just thought I would share this with you guys. :)

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/UnNews:Ast ... planet_yet

10 November 2007

PASADENA, CA: Earlier this week, astronomers came one parsec closer to their ultimate Holy Grail of proving that planets just like Earth exist somewhere in the universe. The latest discovery, provisionally dubbed "Earth 2.0", lies so far away from Regular Earth that it takes light itself to travel hundreds of light years and back just to illuminate it properly.

Within the secular astronomical community, a light year is the distance that light travels in one light year, which is 365 light days (or 366 light days per light leap year).

Earth 2.0 is startlingly Earth-like in many respects, such as having a similar name, familiar drop down menus, orbiting a sun-like sun, possessing one large moon-like satellite, and is also covered with millions of burnt trees and smoking craters. However, there is one particularly buggy fly in the ointment of scientific jubilation: the average distance of Earth 2.0 from it's star-like sun is only 0.000000000000001 astronomical units. This would make it, quote, "a tad toasty for Earth 2.0 's indigenous lifeforms, if any", according to the suddenly disappointed astronomers.

An astronomical unit is the distance which light takes to get from the Sun to the Earth, averaged over a period of one light year. (Well, that was what the astronomers told us, the UnNews science journalists, so we'll just have to take their word for it, mmm-kay? In addition to being astronomers, they are also scientists, very much unlike us normal people.)

Scientific creationists everywhere were quicker than humanly possible to leap upon the secular media's over-sensationalized reports of this truly amazing and shocking discovery, claiming it as the ultimate scientific disproof of Charle's Darwin's Theory of Biological Evolutionary Theory. Doctor Ken Ham (PhD, etc.) of Answers in Genesis's Scientific Ministries and Animatronics, Inc expressed his scientific incredulosity with a flatly resounding "How could this so-called 'Earth 2.0', complete with its moon and smoking craters and indigenous lifeforms have evolved from absolutely nothing, huh? Huh??? I mean it is hot as hell over there. Where did all that information come from? A tornado in a junkyard, or something? I mean, the very idea of dead chemicals turning themselves into fully-formed planets, it completely boggles my mind. Ergo, the mere existence of this impossible planet kills Darwin's theory deader than a dried red herring, proving it just an unproven theory after all.".

After we gently reminded Doctor Ham, PhD, of his uncannily identical claims regarding last year's hyped-up news reports of the discovery of the 44th Mersenne Prime, he could only say, "Well, there you go, Darwinism just gets more impossibler these days, now more than ever. This unfit theory is practically as dead as the dinosaurs and I doubt it will survive the next flood of scientific discoveries".

According to secular mathematicians (some of whom are scientists), Mersenne primes are a special type of number with millions and millions of digits, making them much longer than a light year, or even an astronomical unit.

Now that astronomers have discovered Earth' nearly-identical twin sibling lurking many hundreds of light astronomical years away, other astronomers are now considering the remote possibility of the existence of an even-more Earth-like planet which may be lurking right under all of our collective noses. "Sheesh, these evolutionists just don't know when to quit, do they?" sneered Doctor Ham, PhD.

Other astronomers working at the world renowned Jodrell Bank observatory beleive there may actually be signs of life emanating from 'Earth 2.0'. Dr H. J. Christ PhD, MSc, BSc, IQ230, BrnBiG had this to say

"We are all very excited about the signals currently coming from Earth 2. We are monitoring regular transmissions in the 18,250-18,290MHz waveband which occur every 60-75 seconds. At the moment we are struggling to decrypt the transmissions but it looks like some sort of extra-terrestrial language. So far we have decrypted the words 'Maÿ Din Ch٩ Na' which is very encouraging" ~ Dr H. J. Christ

Sources

* Ham, Ken, Phd., Dr., "Another Impossible Earth-like Planet Confounds Evolutionists". Answers in Genesis, 10 November 2007
“Oh Neddy, it was terrifying. I thought I was headed for the eternal bliss of paradise!â€
Diagoras
 
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Postby donnyton » Tue Nov 13, 2007 12:22 am

On a side note, I always like to use the analogy whenever somebody talks about the "Evolution's probability is the chance of a tornado making an airplane" argument...

"Suppose I have a dice with a billion sides. I roll it. It comes up 671,233,965. What was the probability of that side coming up? 1 in a billion. Therefore, I've just committed an act that had a 1 in a billion chance of occurring. The chances of that number rolling was lower than the chance of me winning the lottery! (1 in a few million) Should I now say that such an improbable event was obviously the work of something divine, as EVERYTHING about the dice said "I will not come up 671,233,965" yet it did? The reason why this conclusion is ridiculous is because probability is meant to predict the future, not explain the past. In the giant "dice of evolution" we're just the side that happened to come up. There's no point in looking back and wondering how our improbable and seemingly designed universe came about. All those other sides could be saying the same thing."
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