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by **LoneMateria** » Mon Jul 06, 2009 3:36 am

Okay, so I've been thinking about the rapture. This is because Dromedary Hump got me thinking about the after rapture pet care service by atheists... Anyway so I got a question / thought. If fundamental Christians believe that the rapture can happen any minute, then why would they have children? Why do they find it acceptable to have a kid, and take the risk of being raptured up after the kid is born but before its baptized? Why take the risk of damning your kid to the hell on earth for eternity? Because we all know they believe baptism is the only way to save a child's soul before they are old enough to accept Jebus as their savior.

I think this should be a legitimate question voiced to those fundamentalists. Especially the ones who follow Pat Robertsons or the other closet homosexual TV Evangelicals.

Either they 1.) Do not believe in the Rapture (not likely).
2.) Think Jesus will wait for their kid to be baptized in which case you can say the rapture will never happen as long as their sect has kids thus they are interfering with gods will and thats a bad sin.
3.) They do not care in which case you can say an infinitely just and moral god/jebus will see that and they risk being left behind.
4.) (HOPEFULLY) They will realize you are right and get snipped.

It should therefore be required for members of these fundamentalist groups to get it snipped. If they refuse then they must admit that they don't take their beliefs seriously. This should be a prerequisite for any cult... I mean Fundamentalist Christian. They can try to prove their claim and the world would get a little better from it. It's a win/win. What do you guys think?

by **donnyton** » Mon Jul 06, 2009 6:49 pm

It's naive to think that that would work against any real fundamentalist. (As for liberals, many of them don't believe in the rapture literally anyways).

Many fundamentalist sects either advocate youth baptism or believe in the age of conscience, where at a certain age you become morally aware and responsible (most place it around 13) and before that you are not accountable for your sins.

I don't see how this question is different from asking "do babies go to hell when they die?"

by **LoneMateria** » Mon Jul 06, 2009 7:25 pm

Lol I never said I thought it would work. I just wish it would work. Now fundamentalists advocate original sin and that baptism to take care of it for a time. I'm not sure which ones, if any, do the age of conscience thing I thought the more liberal/common Christians advocated that.

I wouldn't want to employ this argument against halfway thinking Christians. I would use this against Pat Robertson's sect or others that take the strict advice of TV asshole Evangelists. I'm talking about the wacky nut jobs who say dinosaurs were on Noah's Arc, Bush was a genius, abortions and gays cause hurricanes, and its smart to send Pat Robertson money for god.

This question is different because a proper baptism is something the parents are responsible for setting up and doing. Having their child left behind is explicitly THEIR FAULT because they didn't/couldn't take the steps necessary to make jebus love their child like he loves them. Then if they try to talk their way out of it you can say that their child hasn't accepted Jebus that they did so for the child if Jebus has to wait on their children to accept him then the Rapture will never happen so they are standing in the way of Jebus. Their religion is already full of guilt, you pile some more on top and try to push them over the edge. They get the one-eyed trouser snake cut and then the future generations won't have to put up with their bullshit of trying to take over the government.

Again I don't think this would work on the majority. Its that fucking minority that is the most militant I would like this to work on. Those people don't mind screwing everyone who isn't part of their sect, but they do mind screwing over their own kids... most of the time. Did I answer your question? I ranted a bit so i'm not sure.

by **dromedaryhump1** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:58 am

Thanks to Lone, I'm now I'm thinking of expanding my Eternal Earth-Bound Pets post rapture pet rescue services to christians' kids who are left behind.

http://www.eternal-earthbound-pets.com/

I trust they won't mind sharing a kennel with a dog or cat.

by **LoneMateria** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 5:17 am

dromedaryhump1 wrote:Thanks to Lone, I'm now I'm thinking of expanding my Eternal Earth-Bound Pets post rapture pet rescue services to christians' kids who are left behind.

http://www.eternal-earthbound-pets.com/

I trust they won't mind sharing a kennel with a dog or cat.

ROFL, btw I bought your book. You sneaky bastard, curiosity got the best of me. >.<

by **dromedaryhump1** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 12:59 pm

Lone..
Thanks!!
Hope you enjoy it.
Hump

by **anthonyvh** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 9:23 pm

I think you're making a mistake by expanding into orphanage services. At least the pets you rescue will still all be atheists.

by **LoneMateria** » Fri Jul 17, 2009 1:30 am

anthonyvh wrote:I think you're making a mistake by expanding into orphanage services. At least the pets you rescue will still all be atheists.

Yeah I agree. Besides for the legitimate business you would need to buy / rent buildings so you can prove it would be a legitimate service as well as legal permits and such. Also I don't think it would be easy to sell the idea that you will go to heaven but your kid...well... pets are easy. I'm sure there are a few takers in every crowd but, if such an event were to happen any child that got fucked by Jesus would end up getting fucked by the government and either 1.) Sent to live with a family member or 2.) put in an already existing orphanage. They wont send kids to live with complete strangers... at least not at first.

Also I hope I enjoy your book too Hump. It should be here in a week...hopefully. If it says atheist on it I might have a 50/50 of getting it. Damn bible belt >.<

by **dromedaryhump1** » Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:09 am

Easy guys...i was only kidding about post rapture child rescue. They don't do well on kibble. I know, I've tried it on my kids.

Lone...
Don't worry, if you ordered it from me and not amazon it comes in a plain brown package ... with Satan's Photo on it, and the words "Jesus Takes It Up the Ass" in bold print.

You should be fine.
:wink:

Hump
http://theatheistcamelchronicles.blogspot.com/

by **LoneMateria** » Fri Jul 17, 2009 11:48 pm

dromedaryhump1 wrote:Easy guys...i was only kidding about post rapture child rescue. They don't do well on kibble. I know, I've tried it on my kids.

Lone...
Don't worry, if you ordered it from me and not amazon it comes in a plain brown package ... with Satan's Photo on it, and the words "Jesus Takes It Up the Ass" in bold print.

You should be fine.

Hump
http://theatheistcamelchronicles.blogspot.com/

that makes more sense then about the kids. and ROFL awesome label. If thats what it says then I have absolutely no concern of it ending up missing... just me :-D

.

At least it doesn't show Satan in a suit Smiling while holding a bible and saying, "The Republican party was MY idea!" While showing Jesus being raped by a demon wearing an anti-abortion hat on one side and god hates fags protesters on the other side and just for the hell of it have Pat Robertson on his knees kissing Satan' ass.

by **dromedaryhump1** » Sat Jul 18, 2009 12:05 am

Hahahaha!!!

just kidding...it looks just like the other packages you get from that sex toy company...plain brown envelope.

hump

by **anthonyvh** » Sat Jul 18, 2009 12:43 am

This conversation got me on a thought tangent about business opportunities that prey on religious suckers. I was thinking about an insurance company that sells pedophile insurance for parochial school students, but then I realized I'd probably have to pay out quite often.

by **dromedaryhump1** » Sat Jul 18, 2009 1:13 am

Well, I already have the patent on, and plans to install , mouth wash and Wash & Dry automated dispensers in rectory boys rooms across the country.

So don't even THINK about infringing on that.

by **LoneMateria** » Sat Jul 18, 2009 5:26 am

anthonyvh wrote:This conversation got me on a thought tangent about business opportunities that prey on religious suckers. I was thinking about an insurance company that sells pedophile insurance for parochial school students, but then I realized I'd probably have to pay out quite often.

ROFL yup, and there would be no way to prove insurance fraud. Speaking of fraud and opportunities to prey on religious suckers how much does holy water go for? Man what genius / asshole would be smart enough to sell people water claiming it could cure any disease.... wait dont we already have those fucks? Homeopathy isn't it? I guess you can sell any stupid fuck water if you claim it will cure anything whether a god did it or its scientific sounding.

by **anthonyvh** » Sat Jul 18, 2009 5:48 pm

Depends on how much you dress up your product. If you grease a few palms to get your snazzy packaging stocked in the pharmacy aisle, they call it alternative medicine. If you or I do it out of our garage with a website, they call it consumer fraud.

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